Bathroom Meltdown

Em is KoreaThis is me doing “what Koreans do at night!”  🙂

August 7, 2016 – Week 2 in Korea

HI! Good news, I’m still alive!

This past week was full of lots of learning experiences and many miracles.  I would say the biggest learning experience was what I call my “church bathroom meltdown.” Like all new missionaries learning a language, I was feeling semi-overwhelmed this past week (ps biggest understatement of the year). The Korean language has literally humbled me to the “very depths of humility.” Even though it’s hard, I’m grateful for the challenge and the lessons it teaches me along the way.

However, this past Tuesday, we were roll playing at district meeting. Most of the people in my district are at the end of their mission and my companion is Korean.  So by comparison… I was feeling a little dumb haha. After we finished, (tbh, I was feeling pretty discouraged!) I went to the bathroom and may have had a mini-mental breakdown that included a lot of tears and a long prayer. During my eternally long prayer, I realized how incapable and “nothing” I am. I absolutely cannot learn to speak Korean without my Heavenly Father. I am just simply incapable without Him. We all are! I obviously knew this before, but it had never sunk this deep into me. I know it sounds like reversed psychology, but being able to completely understand that, is one of the most empowering things we can feel. Because then, we are able to more fully come to understand the message of hope that Jesus Christ and His atonement can bring into our lives. Through Him, we can accomplish all. Through Him, we become capable. Through Him, we can have hope.
After that great realization\humbling experience, I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I kid you not, I physically felt myself being lifted and strengthened. I have no doubts in my mind that He is on my right side, and angels are on my left. They bear us up, and help us accomplish His work!
I know He lives! I know He is with us, and I know His love is eternal. I’m so grateful for that message of hope! It has changed my life.
Korea is awesome! I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.

–Sister Clegg
ps: enjoy this cute pic of me and my companion doing Korean things at night ❤ ❤ <

Mom here:  I am including this additional info because it was in my personal letter–but it isn’t anything too personal and gives you a little more of what her week was like:)

I learned so much this week. This area is actually known to be the hardest area in the mission haha But–I LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE HERE! I really feel like we can change that around. I feel some good stuff coming up in the future. This past week, we were able to meet with our only investigator!!! WAHHOO!! Progress!  We teach her English, and then we teach her the gospel afterwards. She is doing great in the English part, but still trying to help her with the gospel part.. haha.  We get a lot of investigators because of English class. This past week, we spent a lot of time going through these thick binders of old investigators and we called every single one of them and made a list of houses to visit this next week. I know there’s people here to teach somewhere! hahaha! We just need to keep working hard.

Things are good with my companion. She’s great. She helps me a lot with the language. I only speak Korean outside of the apartment and then we only speak English for planning and studying. It’s hard though because we don’t teach people, like hardly ever, so then I am unable to really practice Korean that way. We really do a lot of proselyting and so it’s hard because that language can be any Korean words and I can’t prepare for what they are going to say. But I am learning lots and keeping focused.

I think one of the hardest things on a mission is measuring success. My biggest goals are to be exactly obedient and to be diligent in planning and using my time effectively (become a chapter 8 missionary–as the Quorum of the Twelve would say) but it’s hard because I never know if I’m really doing my best. I try hard and work hard all day, but then there’s always stuff to be improving on so I get discouraged on that. I don’t want “to go through my mission,” I want “the mission to go through me” but I never know if I’m doing that or being good enough haha– I don’t know if that makes sense. Anyway, it’s all part of the learning process.

We spent a lot of time this week cleaning and scrubbing. Okay I think I have officially reached the time in my life where I can say, “Okay, thanks mom and dad for all the chores growing up!  I am grateful now!”  I didn’t ever think that time would come… BUT REALLY IT HAS!  BOYS, BE SO GRATEFUL! YOU WILL THANK THEM LATER!  No kidding… I am so grateful that I know how to scrub deep, year old grease off of stoves, and then use a toothbrush to get rid of inch deep mold in the shower :))))  It’s been great to dig in and get to work.  I actually love it!

I love going to church!!!  It’s one of the few things that are the same as home. Also the last time I went to the temple, I tried my best to memorize everything and I haven’t forgotten one thing and I ponder those teachings all the time….. I think I am learning more from being here than I could in the temple at this point in my life. It’s just another reminder of how he always provides a way for the desires of our hearts :))) I love Korea!! Please keep praying for me and my language skills!  I really need help! I love you all!!

Sister Clegg

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